a story

Disclaimer: So many people told me that their favorite post thus far was about the well dressed Azeri woman. We did get to brief speaking terms before I moved offices, but like I said I changes the whole route I walk to work. So sadly, I don’t see her anymore. Because of that there is no way of doing a follow-up about her. But that story was told not really about something but rather how something felt. This story turned out in the same vein. However, this is a story from the point of my feelings, it may not be palatable to all. Especially guys, man it is what it is. It just came out this way and I am not gonna apologize cause I like it!




So I will now tell you all a tale. This story is again a tale that happened recently, but happens regularly in Azerbaijan. It does not have to do with appreciating the little things or my daily routine. Although, it is a tale about a fairly routine happening in Azerbaijan. This tale has to do with what I passionately believe to be the national pass time of Azerbaijan—Weddings. So in love with Weddings and marriage is Azerbaijan that there are many separate parts and parties that go in to getting married. Our story begins with a girl (woman-lady-whatever) going home at the end of yet another day at work. And for simplicity sake let’s say this all happened to me, but trust me dear readers it has, could or very likely will happen to every PCV here. So I arrive at home at the end of my day, with Josh (again this is an extremely common event) he wanted to borrow some DVDs. We get to my house at 5 and it is in chaos, not disorder, but the kind of chaos that exists when you stumble home to find 50 or so people that all know each other and what they are doing, and you just plain don’t. As I ventured upstairs the fog began to clear a bit, there are no men here. Not one. Josh and I look at each other awkwardly, continue on into my room and get the DVDs as we peer back into the world of women we become uneasy. Most of the time I am going to become inundated with culture I invite someone to share the attention with me, Josh is one of my most frequent ‘cultural shields’. We both knew that tonight, I was to be alone. On my own in a world of women.
Even if we were to think about getting an exception, it was too late my host father had entered the room and taken Josh back to ‘Man Land.’ So there I was seated at one of three long banquet tables that filled two rooms, all women. Not that women usually scare me. I am usually quite happy to be in the ‘World of Women’ as opposed to ‘Man Land.’ Man Land is louder, and often smoke-filled, and very often vodka is there too. The World of Women is talkative, food-filled, and smoke and alcohol free. That night was a special night like a bachlorette party except it’s a family affair. We ate, drink soda and talk for a bit but then, the real party begins. It’s called girl wedding and it is a good old-fashioned dance party. Girls only! Well, one guy sat there with a Casio keyboard playing and other than that it was an all girls dance party 6 -80 years old doesn’t matter, you dance. And so dance I did, I myself am a decent Azeri dancer neither pro nor pathetic, but I can do it and that impresses and amuses the room of 50 to no end. My host mother and sister had no idea that this was a skill I possessed, and gave them a sense of pride, cause I am their girl. Which is what my host mother introduce me as, "and this, this is my girl!"

You may ask yourself, what is Azeri dancing like? Well, Azeri dancing is completely different between the sexes. In the World of Women, it is subtler. It is about the hands and arms, you stand tall and there are subtle steps with the feet. But the story is in your arms, how the move, bend and enchant. It is in your hands and fingers how they flow and keep time. And as you get better, it is in the toss of your hair.

For comparison sake, the masculine form that you would find if you were in Man Land is straight, rigged. Arms out straight, wrist fixed in a bent positions and the story is in legs and footwork, which have quick aggressive movements. When men dance they have dance offs or dance fights. Where they get into each other’s space with the aggression of two bucks, or walruses I have seen on the nature channel, but it is all in fun, because at the end they will often hug and laugh, but I digress, this is not the story of Man Land. This is they story of the World of Women.

What I learned that night, was that there is a subtle competition at foot with the women on the dance floor too, at least with the ones who are unmarried. It is neither blatant nor aggressive the way that things are in Man Land. It is more of “Sass Off.” And I believe that for all of you reading this you will already know that as soon as that became clear to me, I fell in love with it. You can see it in the eyes. As if to say have you seen this before, it subtly challenges you to be free. For me, it happened on the dance floor with my host sister. She is an often times quiet girl, 15 years old and studies nigh on constantly. Only around close friends and family, when you look for it you’ll see it. Her cousin will walk by and, she’ll trip them. Or she’ll over exaggerate something and wink at me. I love it! We giggle constantly, or sit in content silence. It’s great, she’ll study and I’ll read and we will just be and not talk. She has no interest in English, which fine. And she teaches me Azeri by just talking to me and using hand gestures till I get it, and she can read my face pretty well she knows if I didn’t get it. Her name is Aysel and she rocks.

But you put this chick on the dance floor and you can see it instantly, she knows she’s cool. Not in a cocky way, but in a comfort she has with herself that most people don’t have let alone 15year olds. And maybe it’s a cultural difference. Many people have noted that little boys know they are princes, and future kings. There is an expectance of things; things will be done for them. Women from a young age are taught how to be wives. In daily life girls are assigned a very unassuming role. And I had never noticed it before, but in the World of Women they are all Princesses, and when the men disappear it becomes instantly clear. The hair is let down, gorgeous thick black hair, done just so. And with a magic possessed only by princesses, it stays just so all night no matter how long they danced. But I felt it in that room, as the music played, that we all shared the secret, that behind closed doors we are all princesses. I saw it in the freeness of their breath and laughter. I saw it in how we would all touch and move. I saw it in the peace and relaxation of Aysel’s face, in that time when there would be nothing asked of her except to dance—she knows, what even maybe her own father doesn’t, she is a princess.

There are several aspects of the ‘girls wedding’ I don’t know them all, for they weren’t explained to me and if they were I wouldn’t have really understood, but this is how they were experienced. There were gifts brought by the guest and they are left in another room and not opened in front of people, not that they were wrapped in a way that you couldn’t see exactly what they were, you could. Then the eating and the dancing at some point of the evening I was branded, (relax they used henna). The branding is as such someone walks by and splats a glop on your hand right for unmarried left if you are. Then if you, like me, are branded unmarried, you could write the letter of the first initial of your beloved, if you, like me, are 26 unmarried, unbethroved and not even in a relationship, then you could simply smear it all around and try to find a napkin for the excess. After all, they might brand you 26 and unmarried, but that doesn’t mean you have to care at all. Next they passed out one candy to each lady. All the while the dancing continued, some of the male cousins seek a peak into the world of women through the window in the next room. I see them watching us and think about how this must be for them to observe. Could they even see the magic that they observed. I wondered if they saw that we had all transformed back to princesses, or if they being from Man Land were not able to see the difference unable to feel the difference. Or if for them they just saw a room full of their mothers, aunts, cousins and their friends’.

I know that after that night I will not be able to look at those women without knowing that at least just for one night, while in the World of Women, I saw their crowns. I feel it still in smile on my host mother’s face as I am being introduced as her girl. I feel it in Aysel’s winks that she knows that I know. And, for a few more days anyway, I will wear my branding with pride, for it marks my entry for my first real visit to their World of Women a place wear we are all princesses and know it.

two months at site

Let me begin by saying that Matt is in the lead in the competition by being the only one to guess thus far. He also pointed out there are missing people I added them and they show up if you click on the time stamp at the bottom of the post entitled 'oh my god you read this thing' the one directly beneath this. there are three more pics so I am giving Matt another chance, if you want to take it. Cause fairs fair

now on with the post...

Two moths at site!!!
Well Sheki, aka the land of fairies has been very good to me. I have heard from many of you that your favorite on of these has been my entry about the “well dressed Azeri Lady”. So I feel, like going back to the beginning, so I will include this old email, I may have sent to all of you, or none of you. Can’t remember. But call it a bonus feature, if you will and imagine that my blog is a dvd. And you lucky people stumbled on a note from the past. When I wrote it I had only been in training about a month.


Well I have decided that the email situation isn’t working out effectively and maybe for the time-being I should give in and set-up a blog or post open letters- whatever you want to call it.

To all of you whom I haven’t been able to contact personally, I am sorry. My access to the Internet is usually about a ½ hour a week or so. I am living in a small settlement called Saray (pronounced sar-I). There is a main road that connects it to other places, which is paved. The other roads in town are decidedly not paved. There are wandering animals a cow here, dogs, sheep being walked. Saray is not the place where an Internet café would be, if Saray were that big a settlement, women would not necessarily be allowed in. Therefore, I get to email about once a week when we go to the city for “hub days”. “Hub days” are what the Peace Corps calls days where we all meet to discuss things (they call that debriefing) and talk about our projects. So when we break for lunch 45 people all go to eat and use the Internet causing a bit of an over-crowding issue. Anyway enough on that.

I do like living in Saray, it is small. It is like living in any small village, people talk. So I do have to be aware of where I am and what I say in front of whom, even if very few people speak English. But then there are the perks of being the new people in the village and everyone wants you to come over for dinner or tea or just wants to meet you. I had two such situations like that just yesterday. I was told by my younger host sister that it was time for lunch, she speaks no English so that is lunch or any meal is indicated to me by her knocking on my door and telling me to eat. Upon getting to the kitchen I see food still being prepared and four of her friends are outside waiting to meet me. I oblige. This consists of me sitting and being asked the three or five things they know in English, I answer what I can in Azeri. What is your name? Men adim Maqdalenadir. Why are you here? I am studying Azeri? What does your father do? Menim atam hekimdir? They tell me that their father’s are doctors too! Having exhausted the amount of language we have in common they scamper off—lunch was about 35minutes later. Later that night I was invited over to the home of one of the other girls in my class. We had chicken and beef kebabs, bbqed over a fire on what looks very much like dull swords, girls kept coming in and out of the party to meet us talk to us and ask why are we in Azerbaijan. I tell them that I am here to learn the language. Rikki’s (the Peace Corps girl) family is very musical so the evening turned into an exchange of music. We sang ‘O beautiful’ they sang an Azeri folk song, we sang Amazing grace they played the piano and sang another song. It was quite cool.

Another great aspect of ling in Saray is this; there are three groups here. Of the 45 (we started 47) people in our group there are 16 here. My group lives about 30 minutes by foot from them and we have decided to meet up twice a week to play football (soccer) Americans vs. Azeris. We played on Thursday and tomorrow (Tuesday) will be the second. Let be take this moment to mention how spectacular this game was. To be able to run and play, when in training in Azerbaijan there are a lot of rules all day. Don’t smile at men you don’t know, be home before dark, no jeans in school. In football the rules were basically the same if you are a boy or a girl, if you are American or Azeri. Last time only one other girl played, and she did much better than I, but we both got in the game. This week I one of at least one person busing in to play with us and the other girl from our group will play too. It is a dirt field with glass on it (as it is almost everywhere here) vaguely outlined boundaries and two goals. Last week one of the locals rode his horse to the game and left his horse just off the pitch. I took a picture one of the times the horse was in the game. The first game was so much fun that I hope everyone will return with the additions and there is already some talk of having volleyball days at our school, there is a net up and everyone seems to play at home in over their laundry lines, so I think it is very do-able.

So that’s basically where I am at right now, trying desperately to learn Azeri, so at the next viewing session, when they come to look at least I can say more than My name is, How are you, My family is, cause after that all I can do is start naming fruits and vegetables. I have made friends, I hope to … ironic side note, just got interrupted by another viewing session. I guess I will rap this up with the satisfaction that at least this one went better than the last.

oh my god you read this thing

So I know that it might be belated but I was just scrolling through some past posts and realized I have a few posters. Not the type that glow in blacklight, or that have a kitten on it that seems to stare in a creepy way (jess you know what I mean, those kitten posters where everywhere) But rather, the kind that post comments. And for those of you who posted, I have written repsonses!!! Yeah technology is fun.

Secondly, For those who have looked at the post beneath this one, you'll kindly not that the pictures didn't line up the way I asked and therefore it looks like tom is a woman, ashley corrected me on this, he is in fact a little little girl. I thought about going through the effort of fixing it up, but now I think it is more fun if you guess who is who. Post you're guesses!! I'll post the rest of the pics and you decide who is who and then there maybe a prize!!

meet the crew

So I guess it’s been long enough and it’s time to play, ‘meet my friends’ so I have attached pictures of those I probably spend the most time with when I am not at site. Most people would call us a clique and I have found that some even call us ‘the clique,’ I’ll just say that they are my friends and yes we are very close and got that way rather quickly for the most part and leave it at that.

So in no particular order allow me to make some introductions…
So there’s Ashley, lots of planning usually falls on my or his shoulders, it just seems to happen that way maybe we share a passion for what some might call scheming. Half way through training we all get reviewed Ashley’s the kind of guy that everyone will know, we love him, one of the reviewers that really hadn’t met him simply described him as loud!

Then there’s Tom, Ashley’s sitemate, the two of them are the Lenkeran boys, and by himself he’s known as goatflix, goat, or Thomas (usually used by me or others to tease him). Goatflix started in Philly when he announced he was bringing 250 DVDs to AZ. And at that time, I believe Ash dubbed him goatflix ala netflix. Tom’s Chicago through and through and although he can’t get his parents to send him so much as his contacts, his friends send him stuff all the time including DVDs of all the Bears games.

Then there’s Rachel, the one person I met before coming out here, we arrived at the airport together and pretty much stayed that way as long as possible. Rachel is also known as Higgens (her last name) Higgs or squeaky (cause she squeaks) But Rach is TEFL, along with being our word for something lame, TEFL in the English teaching program, and only a few of us among my close friends are TEFL.

Kasey, is also TEFL she and Rachel were in a cluster (training group of 5 or 6) together, She’s great! The kind of girl that doesn’t tell everyone that you ruined the surprise for her birthday party by accidentally texting her about it! God bless her. Now she has the rge as a sitemate.

Then there’s Rikki George who everyone calls by first and last name or by her last name, or by the RGE for “the Rikki George Experience,” which is a really long story but let’s say someone was gonna get stolen from, there was a real long period where that was her, I tell you when it ends. Rikki was my neighbor in training and one of my clustermates.

So was Ben. Ben was probably my best friend in training. He and I bonded over a dislike of going home to our host family homes and sarcasm. Although he was dubbed lump, for his sluggishness during orientation week (due to illness) Ben would probably be the first one into the fight to defend my honor- to use a Jana-phrase.

Then there’s Joy whose family is from Moreno Valley and for those of you who don’t know it is extremely close to Redlands. In fact we daydreamed of Cuca’s burritos and Rama Garden all summer. Joy is known as killjoy or Darth Joyous, for her ‘sunny’ disposition, she’s great just a small chick with an extra portion of fieist!

Last but not least there is Maria. She is very piratanical, and dry, so I love her even though I call her my least favorite (no worries it’s a joke she started and calls me the same) and even though she is TEFL and lives in a village and can’t travel and I’ll probably never see her again she’s still family!

So here they are my friends we bonded over our shared fondness for what let’s call youthful exuberance, I will send you all pictures of them in our natural state of giggle fits!


Josh moment of the week:
This one has got to go to Charlie, who just got his new place in a conversation at the clubhouse over burgers (yeah peace corps really rough sometimes) Charlie mentions that he was just realizing how much work having his own house will be; shopping, cooking, gardening, cleaning etc. And then he says he hopes it doesn’t ruin his hands, “I mean, I really like my hands guys, they’re really nice, soft, and supple.” I know it’s not a Josh quote but c’mon that’s pretty awesome. He spent the weekend showing people his hands, ahh Charlie I love you man!

"Because it's America Day, not Azerbaijan Day!"

Well the long awaited day finally came this weekend. I have no idea how many hours of discussion and prep it took, I couldn't tell you how many contour it cost me on my cell texting people about it, and ironing out details and travel arrangements. And what I really can't tell you is how I managed to burn cookies even though the power had gone out (it's skill! ) What I can tell you is that it was AWESOME. Things I expected to work for the most part did, some exceptionally well and the things I didn't expect people to get into went off! 28 Azeri kids came out to learn about halloween, thanksgiving and American Football, that's what America Day was. Simple enough right. I thought it up and planned it with my sitemates. Halloween candy and pie, mmm delicious pie. And when you're in Peace Corps and the electricity decides to cut out, you make cookies and apple crisps. Cause in the Peace Corps you always have to have a plan B. I was ready for those types of things, what I really didn't expect for the bobbing for apples to be such a hit and for the girls to be so enthusiastic about playing flag football, but they were. Afterwards we made exceptional chili. It was great!! Mmmmm chili. And I cut 3 girls' hair and had mine cut by a fourth, yea Peace corps team work!

So now I am sitting at my desk back to work after the nice long weekend, and listening to jazz on my computer. It is definately on it's way to winter but we were granted a great and mild weekend for america day, and I was able to take another walk into the foothills and sit in a graveyard and talk with a friend. It's great when in fall you can really be excited by a nice day, because you are aware that you are running out of chances to sit outside.


The title for this week's entry is a translated quote from my host mother! She's amazing, I really like her. I had brought some girls by and borrowed some kitchen equipment from her. My host father was asking we were cooking what we were (which ws chili) and why not cook these other things, she stopped him mid sentence and said because it's America Day and not Azerbaijan day! I love it. I'm not sure that they got that it was an event and not a holiday of it's own but I am not really sure that it matters. What's the real difference when you are that far away from home. A replica holiday feels the same as a real holiday. Eating cookies, and seeing your family is basically the same as a holiday. Afterwards there were a lot of naps and then people had to get up early and travel home, like a real holiday. So I guess the difference doesn't matter! Happy America Day Everyone!!!!!

a birthday without a hitch!

Finally a Birthday party went off without a hitch!


I’d like to start this entry with a shout out to Ben’s parents, who I was told have found my little blog. Hello, Ben’s parents! Mr. and Mrs. Wulf I presume. I would also say that in my opinion Ben’s great, a perfect gentlemen, even though he occaisionally ‘up-sidedowns’ me and orders in an affected british accent.

Ok on with the blog

So Kasey and Lucas came up and let me tell you fairyland definitely made itself just as pretty as could be. Kasey definitely fell in love with what I see in the place. Lucas having lived near to here for a year he already knows it’s great here! They came up to celebrate both Charlie’s new home and Kasey’s birthday. So the thing is we, me and my friends haven’t had the best track record with birthdays. Pretty much any time something goes awry we can trace it to a birthday. Kasey wanted to keep here birthday mellow and problem free. And we managed to keep it just that. Charlie, Josh, Lucas, Kase and me went on an adventure walk on Friday evening then made an awesome pasta dinner-well really Lucas made it. Usually, I am pretty good in the kitchen, Friday I was useless! Hey Magda can you open this bottle, umm not without breaking it. Well that’s fine how about washing these dishes, great I got one done and then broke the second glass and cutting myself so I was told to sit in the corner and not touch things especially until I could manage to stop bleeding. Excellent! Anyway the evening went well as did the next day, breakfast followed by intensive cleaning of Charlie’s new place. I mean it, momi you would have been proud, Kase and I took on this practically abandoned room that we are calling the breakfast nook. We scrubbed it for hours, bleaching everything. It was very reminiscent of childhood, “Hey girls, we got a dumpster, why not invite your friends over to play!” Except this time they all knew what they were getting into. There was to be another hike at lunch time but that turned into long walks and talks from one side of fairlyand to the next. We decided to have dinner in the fancy new hotel, which we call the clubhouse, because well you all know how I like to give things different names… Then we had cake at home for Kase, and Lucas who had made the cake also bought the most incredible candle ever. I don’t know how to describe it other than to say it was part firework part music box and it had to be defused at the end, pretty exciting stuff for those of us who live among the water buffalo! Kase and Lucas left in the morning leaving me with my sitemates. So we made apple cinnamon pancakes and discussed details for America Day and debated the ideas of reality and progressivism before we cuddled up and watched The Chronicles of Narnia. When the kids came out of the wardrobe I decided to go back to my ‘reality’ and went home. The weekend was great fun and exhausting. But I think that this coming one will blow my tiredness levels out of the water!

holidays and moving out

Josh moment of the week:
While looking at a cement tub full of water, Josh turns to Charlie and me and says, “Oh is this one of those water things”



A week of holidays oh boy!!!

So yes the week of holidays is over, alas! But I am just gearing up for America Day and Kasey’s birthday and Thanksgiving. But I am getting ahead of myself. The week started with a Monday Tuesday combo of holiday madness! It was the end of Ramazan. Meaning time to get your grub on, in a way that I think, even shames Thanksgiving. It is a lot like Thanksgiving especially like the one we used to have at our place in Redlands where 25 of your closest friends come and spend a long weekend or week at your place, except it’s a progressive party. Everyone goes ‘guesting’ (meaning to visit someone and be a guest) and eats at everyplace they go. So you host your friends, family and neighbors and they do the same for you for two days! The extended family stayed at my place for a week! (But that was also in part because they are gearing up for a weddings and had copious sewing projects to prepare.) I went to work wed and thrus and then off to Ganja for Friday work and dinner in Shemkir (smaller city outside of Ganja). Terah had some people over for bacon and veggie pizzas, and possibly some libations to follow… The next day we woke and Ben made ham and eggs with spinach and Kat made biscuits and gravy; there was also more bacon. First was my first experience with biscuits and gravy (I know I am extremely Californian- what can I say) I never understood the point. Bread and gravy…really? But I didn’t come all the way to Azerbaijan not to try new things right?! So I ate it and liked it but not as much as the Nachos we had for lunch, what can I say I am guess I will Always be a So-Cal chick and cheese and salsa will Always be good.

From lunch we went to the Halloween Party, which was great. Almost everyone was in costume and most were really creative, which is awesome to see. I think it is almost more fun to have Halloween outside of the states because it forces people to get really creative!

So that’s it for now stay tuned for next week with exciting highlights hopefully including some big moves of me and a site-mate, hosting my first guests up to fairyland, a weekend hike? And maybe I’ll even do some laundry.


Ok well the week is practically over and since I know I am not going to email over the weekend, let me offer a summary of the week. I am currently typing at my desk in front of my window at my NEW OFFICE! I love it. I get to listen to my music and watch the leaves blowing in the wind. No, I don’t have email at my office yet, but soon. Soon. What else has made this week exciting, Charlie moved into his new place, so now it is official, fairyland has it’s very own fort! And we will christen it tonight with a dinner party/ kasey’s b-day fiesta. That’s right Kasey is coming up, my first friend –ahhh. As we speak ( well as I type I guess) she is bounding up the mountains on a bus and will be here within an hour or so! We all plan on going hiking tomorrow so, I’m praying tomorrow is as great as today. I am really happy with my site, and work and life in general right now. It’s strange, suddenly the few things that weren’t right are or they are on their way back to what they are supposed to be. I am feeling more and more at ease here. My walk to and from work has changed, as my office has moved but it is only half as long and when I get there I like absolutely everyone there. Matt asked me to give a typical day at the office description and the reason why I haven’t yet is that, there just isn’t one, not yet. This week I bought dishes and tea equipment on Monday. Tuesday more shopping and my classes I was working till 7:15pm. Wednesday I went home at 9:45am there was nothing to do and I was sick, I slept til two ate then Josh asked me to help him with his work and I did til 4:30. Thursday I worked from 9 til 3:30, cleaning, mopping and arranging furniture and then went to language lessons and then to Josh’s to check my email, after that we met Charlie at the fancy restaurant to celebrate our big moves, I got home at 8:30pm and today I’ll be here for a few hours then over to CHF to work on America DAY. So I am not yet to the point that there is a real typical day, and I kind of doubt that there will ever really be that point. I don’t think Peace Corps really specializes in the typical day, but I will try to write more often so that you all get a better idea of my atypical days in Azerbaijan